Tag: childhood

Working with Generative AI

Personal

Last year I finally replaced my old hand-me-down laptop with a brand-new, modest but still exciting, Lenovo Yoga. I bought this mostly for work, but also to have as my everyday machine. I expected to do a lot with it. One thing I hadn’t really foreseen but maybe should have, was how I would start working with generative AI.

“Learn AI!”

Everyone hears, every day it seems, that we need to learn to incorporate AI into our everyday lives and work. That those with expertise in AI have better prospects for future success. I personally had been more than reluctant to dive into AI. I’d been skeptical of its usefulness or its value, and I’d been doubtful of our real need for it. In addition, I felt it would only be a negative, especially for those of us who create for our livelihoods. Hearing that AI could write articles, blog posts, even books, filled me with a certain amount of dread. It was also irritating to me. This seemed largely out of our control; it would happen whether we liked it or not. My concern of course extended to other creatives in the visual arts or design communities, as well as to society as a whole.

Creating my own images

So when I got started with my new laptop, the last thing on my mind was engaging with its AI features. Well, that changed. I was working on one of my blogs, struggling with ideas for illustrating a few articles. For as long as I have been doing this – blogging (which was originally called online journaling, when I first got started at it) – I have created the vast majority of my own images. Occasionally, I will include photos, maps, or other images that are more meaningful for a particular article than anything I would design myself. But, in most cases, I have done my own art and graphics for my sites. Even when I was a columnist for a print magazine, I designed the graphics for my column and provided the images each issue.

Jumping in with Copilot

I decided to play around a little with Copilot, which was included in my new laptop. When I write an article I often have a fairly solid idea of how I’d like to illustrate it. My imagination typically comes up with several ideas, and from there, I kind of just start working on it. If it requires a new photo, I consider where I can go – if I need to be in a certain kind of place or environment. Or I consider what items I have on hand that might serve as effective “props.” As an aside, I like that this somewhat follows in my father’s footsteps to a degree, since for years in the 1960s and 70s he was a display artist for large department stores. Putting together props or items for an illustrative photograph has its definite similarities to designing and creating a storefront display.

Writing my first prompts

With Copilot I thought of these articles and what needed to be illustrated, what kind of illustration could add to the writing, could reflect the meaning of the writing; something that would perhaps not only draw people in or grab their attention, but also anchor their attention, so to speak. An illustration helps to get across and cement the meaning of the writing.

I was new to this, so I just wrote rather detailed prompts of exactly what I was looking for. And, I was quite surprised. The resulting images obviously weren’t what I would have drawn by hand (besides, my drawing skills do not go that far for illustration purposes), and if I’d tried to put together photos, it would have been nearly impossible. Since my AI-generated images included people, photos would have required far more than I have the capability of doing – setting up a location or studio, hiring models, supplying costumes, etc. I was, therefore, somewhat pleased with the AI-generated results, and they worked well with the articles.

I was also quite surprised. Not just with the results themselves, but with my satisfaction with them. I do tend to be fairly open-minded, which for me, includes being open to change, open to considering other opinions or viewpoints, open to trying new things – including those things I have previously dismissed. But I hadn’t expected to have a positive feeling from having played around with generative AI. Paradigm shift, for sure.

Illustrating memories

Deciding to play around a bit with Copilot, I thought, what if I could generate some images that illustrated moments of my childhood – childhood memories? These of course would not be actual memories (haha), but what would they look like? Would they provide any sense of genuine nostalgia for me? Would they effectively illustrate memories I had that I might share with others? I have a strong imagination and tend to visualize things fairly easily, but that’s not true for everyone. We each are different kinds of “thinkers,” so I don’t see it as a shortcoming if someone has a harder time picturing something.

A day at the beach

A girl on the beach, with a starfish. You can see where the AI messed up, if you look at the points of the starfish! they look a bit more like pretzel sticks 😉

I thought of a few memories from my childhood. These were not specific events or occasions, rather, these were simple, somewhat generic moments in time. I first chose the kind of moment I would have had at my favorite beach growing up. My family went there often. The beach was about two hours from where we lived. We’d often go out for a long afternoon, enjoying the quiet, the solitude, the beauty, and the peace.

In my prompt, I described a little girl (representing me, obviously), how she looked, how she was dressed, her emotions at the time, and what she was doing. In this memory, I was holding a small starfish I’d found in the sand. I was quite happy, as well as fascinated in that childlike way, by the little creature. In minutes, Copilot offered an image. I had to laugh, because it was mostly quite accurate (look closely at the picture to see where it really failed). Again, it was not me in the picture. It was not the actual memory, and it was not an actual picture from that time (all obvious), but it got across my experience of such a moment. If I showed someone else I wouldn’t say, “oh, here I am at the beach when I found a starfish in the sand!” but I could say, “this is a lot like what I used to do at the beach when I was a kid,” knowing that the beach actually looked a lot like the one I had gone to, because of the details in my prompt.

On the railroad tracks

The main issue with this one was how close the houses and factory buildings were to the tracks. But that was likely due more to my prompts not specifying distance

I did another, fast-forwarding some years to myself as a teen, in a much different place. This was my home, my “backyard,” and I walked alone at dusk, lost in thought, and with a degree of sadness. Again AI took my description and very closely showed me what could have been a snapshot of me at a certain age, in that familiar place that had been home. If I wanted to share a story about spending hours at night walking along the train tracks behind my apartment, I could use this (or a similarly AI-generated image) to illustrate my story. Despite the issue of the buildings being a little closer to the tracks than they really are, this image does a very good job at showing the kind of place I lived through much of my childhood.

Is it creativity?

I wouldn’t want AI to replace any true artistic endeavor. I don’t think of these images as having been my “art;” they were made to my orders, so to speak. These were not drawn or painted by me, by my hand. However, one thing that really surprised me and stood out to me, was how creative it had actually felt. There is creativity in vision, in envisioning itself. When I stand at an easel with a stick of charcoal, I don’t envision anything ahead of time. If there is a model, or an item I am drawing from still life, I suppose that is the vision – the vision is in how I am seeing what is in front of me. I don’t see a finished piece of art when I’m drawing. I let it come through me. In working with AI, maybe sitting with the chat box and creating the prompt is like standing at the easel. I’ve formed a vision of what I’d like to see, written a detailed prompt, and AI has matched it as well as it has been programmed to.

Obviously, these AI-generated images lack the soul of real art. They lack a certain depth or complexity. Many AI-generated images have a certain recognizable kind of lighting; they are a bit unnuanced. They will not evoke the way a great painting might. But they might still communicate a feeling or a mood, which in some cases is enough. For the purposes of illustrating certain articles, I have found them useful and helpful. For such purposes, I am not going for fine art.

A quick glance

I think we know that unfortunately, the average attention span has shortened greatly (are you still reading? wow, thank you!). If the average reader is just skimming an article or post, looking for a TLDR, how much attention are they paying to the accompanying artwork then? With this in mind, I have accepted the idea of generative AI for such needs. At least for now…

Our choices when working with generative AI

AI is still super new to me. I have still only played with it a little bit, and I do not use it for writing, even to clean up or edit. I won’t even use it in replying to texts or emails. And I have only ever used it a few times for illustrating articles (and always note when I have). Each of us, even if we accept AI into our everyday lives, will have our own areas where we will refuse to engage with it. But I am very curious about where we are headed with AI, and its place in our creative lives.

Thanks for reading. And as always, feel free to reach out with any questions or comments, or just to say hi.

~ Nellie

Images: main image created with my prompts for a wedding in the woods, inspired by my Polish heritage; others inspired by personal memories. Created using Microsoft Copilot and Photoshop.

50th Anniversary Dungeons & Dragons Stamps

Personal

A few weeks ago my brother texted me to share something his wife had picked up for him when she was out running errands: 50th Anniversary Dungeons & Dragons stamps! I found this ultra-cool, and I was inordinately excited.

A long personal history

When I was around eight my older brother started playing D&D at a local bookstore. He and his friends had discovered it, and played every week. To me, who had already begun reading Tolkien, it sounded amazing, and I was itching to play. Contrary to stereotypes of boys, my brother wanted me – his little sister – to be able to enjoy the game. He began to seek out ways I could play. When the DM at the bookstore told him I was too young to join, he and our cousin formed a group that I could join. We played often, and I eventually joined campaigns that my brother and his friends ran as well, long after the bookstore games had ended. One stereotype was true: we played D&D for hours on end, easily losing track of time, stopping only to devour whatever snack our dad or stepmom delivered to us.

D&D for the generations

I continued to play as a teen, and then with my boyfriend (now husband). We then raised our daughter with a love of Dungeons & Dragons. She grew up gaming – we as a family played; D&D as well as Pathfinder and other TTRPGs (table-top RPGs), as well as board games. My family still plays together whenever we can. Sometimes I DM, sometimes my daughter does. When my brother is with us, we tend to revert to those early eighties styles of play. There are lots of jokes and laughter, often loud expressive play, many (many!) tangents, and a good dose of healthy competitiveness. Our Christmas table is often transformed into a Forgotten Realms setting these days, with graph paper, pencils, dice, stacks of rulebooks, minis, and of course, snacks.

Dungeons & Dragons Stamps

Dungeons & Dragons boxed notecard set, from the USPS

When I saw there were Dungeons & Dragons stamps, I expected my tiny local post office wouldn’t have them, so I rushed to the USPS website and pored over the offerings. Not only is there a sheet of twenty stamps, there are also several solid collectors’ items. The USPS offers a gift set with notecards and a sheet of eight stamps, contained in a box that can double as a dice tray. There are enamel pins, a t-shirt, a first day cover, and a commemorative panel, among other items.

Dungeons & Dragons enamel pins, from the USPS

I ordered stamps and a few of the collectors’ items, and will be sending some of these to my daughter and her partner (who also plays).

An integral part of my life

D&D has become so popular, which always seems surprising to me and to many other long-time players. Those of us who started playing in the seventies or eighties grew up quite used to being considered very weird. We were also sometimes assumed to be Satan worshippers. Many of us got out of D&D something that we weren’t getting from anywhere else. My brother and I had lost our mom just a few years before we started playing. I have often thought that D&D helped us both find a way to express ourselves. It brought us close-knit friendships that might otherwise have been difficult at the time. It was also incredibly fulfilling as a hobby or pastime.

As surprised as I sometimes am by the rise in popularity, I am glad to see this thing that was such an integral part of my life and emotional health growing up, has continued to be meaningful to others as well. It is now unmistakably important to many, even with the youngest generations of kids while continuing to be played by fifty-somethings like myself. And now in addition to all the other ways it has been noticed, it has its own collection of US postal stamps, recognized for its place in American culture.

Fifty years

I can and I can’t believe it has been fifty years. I can, because I know how long I have been playing, and it’s a long time; I can’t, because as kids back in 1980, I don’t think any of us would have expected to see it continue to grow as it has and still be going strong so many years on.

If you are interested in the D&D stamps, head over to the USPS Store. There are more collectibles than what I purchased, so make sure to have a look around.

As always, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with comments or questions, or just to say hello.

~ Nellie

A Doll Collector

Personal

I am not a doll collector. My grandmother Josephine collected dolls. She bought dolls when she traveled to other countries, she sewed soft dolls and painted their molded faces with curling smiles and mischievous eyes, she repeatedly promised me she had an ever-growing doll collection for me that I would receive when I was “old enough.” I never was old enough, but after she passed away I did find a number of dolls in her attic. I wondered if they were the collection she had always promised me. Unfortunately, many were in bad shape from being poorly stored, and could not be salvaged, but I was able to hold onto a couple peg dolls she had bought in Poland.

My mother’s doll Tina

When I was very little my mother let me play with her childhood doll Tina. This was an intimidating doll, with moving parts. I was forever traumatizing myself with it because it seemed to break so easily. One time I ended up hiding in the closet, thinking I had broken Tina for good and fearing my mother would be furious. My dad found me, and after a quick laugh and a hug, reassured me I had not broken my mother’s doll. He showed me how her eyes were simply askew, and he fixed it right away. And my mother was not furious. Still, after that I pretty much avoided playing with her.

I have had Tina since my mother passed away though. Past her prime for playing, she’s a delicate seeming doll, so she has mostly been kept in storage. Recently I have been going through a lot of old family items. I took Tina out of her box and became inspired to clean her up, possibly try my hand at simple repairs or refurbishment, and honestly, it set me on a completely unexpected course (since I am not a doll collector).

A walking doll from the 1950s

Tina is apparently (and please excuse my newbishness here, for anyone reading who might actually have experience with old or vintage dolls), a Tina toddler walking doll, by IMPCO. Her hard plastic body is jointed, she has a sound box (though I don’t recall her ever “talking”), her mouth shows teeth and a tongue, and her eyes move. There are issues that clearly need repair of some sort. Her head is very loose (having lost some kind of internal S hook along the way), her eyes close if she is tilted just slightly, and her limbs are almost dangly.

Preliminary doll clean-up

After a short, gentle clean-up, but before doing the hair. The plastic bag was to protect the body from water while cleaning the hair (I hadn’t planned on blogging about the process!)

Following some online advice, I cleaned her gently and tried to wash and brush her hair. The hair seemed way too brittle, even using a small metal pet comb. After an initial dipping of the hair in warm water I just let it dry and I re-braided it. I hand washed her clothes, but had to throw out her shorts and socks. After getting her all dressed again, I sat her in the living room, temporarily. When my husband noticed her he said she looked really good and I had done a great job. She no longer looked matted and dusty, or afflicted by cataracts. I can’t believe I am going to say this, but she looked pretty and happy – which is probably exactly how she was supposed to look, to the little girls who had such dolls, like my mom.

Obviously, there is much more to be done; this was just preliminary. What I would really like to do is clean her more thoroughly and repair her. I need to repair her limbs so they do not seem like they are going to just flop around or fall off. I’d like to replace the S hook inside her head so it doesn’t continually tilt alarmingly – causing her eyes to close. I would also like to figure out if I can do something to clean her hair. Her clothing could use some repairing as well. Those sleeves need stitching to give them some gathers, and I should probably iron the dress as well.

What makes a doll collector?

After I set Tina aside and gathered the little dolls from Poland, I looked around and realized there are other dolls in my house, placed here and there.

I have small hand-carved kachinas from Arizona that although they are not playthings, might technically be considered dolls. They were given to me by a family friend who collects larger kachinas, when I was quite young. I also have two Strange Dolls, handmade by a local artisan, that I have displayed over my desk. They are my only modern dolls, which I actually bought for myself. There are also a couple Annalee dolls – both gifts, one from when I was a kid.

There is a ceramic figurine my grandmother Jo had made back in the 1950s that she and my aunts called a “doll.” She had loved doing ceramics using Holland Molds, and this figure was particularly unique. Not only did she cast it, paint it, and glaze it, she created a dress for it out of lace. That is another that will require careful handling and delicate repair. I currently have no idea how to clean it.

This quick, quiet perusal made me wonder just how many dolls one must own in order for it to be a collection… Or perhaps I should put it this way: how many dolls can one own before it is considered a collection? Because it is possible that I am a doll collector after all.

As always, please don’t hesitate to get in touch or leave a comment. I’d love to hear of any great resources for refurbishing dolls like Tina, so please feel free to suggest some. Thanks!

~ Nellie